A Pause

I have been trying to sum up the past.  I think the worst has been the last three years, when the drinking has been slowly growing worse.  As her therapist commented, she isn't the normal alcoholic.  She is more of a binge drinker, when she can go several months without drinking, and then bam, a week straight of just passed out drinking.  She drinks enough to stay passed out, because, she says, she's tired of thinking.  The sad part, though, is that the things she thinks about have been the result of the drinking getting too much: the isolation, loneliness, feeling like a failure.  I heard Dr. Drew say one time that people who drink get emotionally stunted at the age that it started.  Well, though it has been the past three years that have been bad, I think the social drinking in early college/late high school is where she is frozen.  Part of me thinks that she is frozen there because that is the time she liked the best.  Life was good for her there, and she associates the drinking with that for some reason.  Sadly, it being such a sickly, seductive disease, it will kill her if she doesn't stop and never go back.  Having said all of that, I have found in myself that I can't stop worrying.  Is that a residue of the enabling behaviors?  Is that my withdrawal?  Me not taking control of the situation, letting her go and rejoice in the accomplishments or suffer the consequences, has caused me to have an upset stomach all of the time.  I live on Imodium.  I know things are good now.  She is back on her medication, and is doing well, but I can't seem to move forward this time.  I have never really been at this spot, before, on the road to recovery as an enabler, so, I'm not sure if this is normal or not but I really don't know how to break free of this.  Scary thought:  I wanted to just stop the worrying, and wondered what it would be like to just sleep through life.  How DO you turn off the thinking and the worrying?  I am praying all of the time, but I just learned, too that it doesn't say in the Bible that God won't give you more than you can handle.  So, it can get pretty rough.  So, now I have to figure out what I have to do, and I don't have a clue.