Fast Forward

I am fast forwarding because I wanted to tell what happened to me this morning. I was walking to the post office, and on the way was feeling very sad, my stomach was upset as usual, and the anxiety was churning.  All of this, and things have been going well, here.  Sober for almost 3 weeks, and she is seeming a little more cheerful, at least less sad.  Anyway, I shot out a prayer to God, asking Him to show me a way to relieve this sick feeling I have.  I feel as though I'm stuck on stress all of the time.  Anyway, on my way back from the post office, I saw a neighbor putting her daughter on the bus for day camp.  I stopped and we started small talk, and somehow, I think it was because we were talking about how humid the weather has been, and how it changes your personality, and makes things seem so negative, we started talking about praying and she was saying how it helps.  And she told me how she is on two antidepressants, and was still not feeling great.  She didn't want to get on any more medication, and was determined to do something else.  A psychiatrist that her son goes to (her son has autism, and her daughter has Downe's Syndrome) emphasized the importance of exercise (those hopeful endorphins) and so she started to walk.  She was walking for several weeks, when it started to rain, so she started to run and realize that she could do that, so now she runs everyday.  She is in training now, for a race she wants to compete in, and she said that her mood is so much better.  She credits a lot to God and prayer, and people being put into her path that help her to learn.  I asked her about intercessory prayer, and she said that is very important, too.  She said that her sister is in recovery from a heroin addiction, and her brother is still in his addiction with heroin.  He is on the streets.  She said that they had tried very hard to help him--get him to rehab, force him to get sober--but nothing has worked, because she said, he needs to want to change.   So, she continues to pray, but she keeps away.  She said, (and this is what clicked with me) we don't even by him a sandwich, which we used to do, buy him food, clothes, etc. because the money that he saved not buying is own food, he would spend on drugs.  Something so simple, as a sandwich can be a means to feed an addiction if the person does not want to change.  We enable even when we don't realise it.  Today, she was an answer to my prayer walking to the post office.  Why some prayers get answered within minutes and  others take years, I don't know, but what I do know is that I can't ask for an answer, and not accept the answer when I get it.  I did tell her that I had prayed and felt she was an answer to that prayer.  She said talking about it helps her, too.  I get frustrated because I was always under that impression that God didn't give you more than you can handle (and this has been way more than I can handle).  Then I found out that that is not true.  It is a misquote from a scripture that says something to the effect that if you are tempted, God always provides an out.  The temptation to stay sad, and let fear and anxiety control my day (life?) was given an out, today.  I get it.  I have to work on that, today.