Learning to Let Go...baby steps

I went to another Al-anon meeting last night.  That I could get off of the couch was a major turning in my recovery.  I just can't stand feeling like this anymore.  The meeting was bittersweet for me.  So many hurting people, but simmering in all of that, was great hope.  I tried to latch onto the hope.  When I heard one of the parents talk about how addicts lie, and steal, and are smarter than us to manipulate, I started to feel as though there was no hope.  That my beautiful, graceful, sweet child has morphed into some shape-shifting demon.  But then, I heard how some of those same manipulating, lying, injured people, were able to stop at some point, and turn there lives around.  I grabbed onto that hope.  I feel as though I may have swallowed some hope to help relieve the ache in my stomach.  I asked, 'How do you stop the worrying?  How do you lovingly detach from your child?"  The answer was that it took time, but it can be done.  One step at a time. One day at a time.  My step is not asking if she is going to or has bought alcohol.  BOY was it hard when she came home last night.  I still found myself silently doing the math on the amount of time it took her to drive home, stopping to get gas on the way, if she would have had time to buy any.  Then I listened when she went upstairs to change.  Then I listened as she made her dinner.  I fell asleep on the chair in the living room, 'listening'. BUT, I didn't ask.  So, as a modified Scarlet would say, "Today, is another day."