You Are What You Think

You are what you think.  That is a scary thought to me. Much more dreadful than, 'you are what you eat.'  I can control what I put into my mouth.  Thoughts come out of the dark and spring themselves onto you so quickly, like some manic Johnny Appleseed tossing seeds about.  And with the mind being such fertile ground, who knows what seeds will take root and be fed by some arbitrary experience. It's scary to me and very stressful, trying to control everything you think. Staying positive.  That is my goal, though, to make staying positive and harvesting hopeful thoughts, my mental crop, rather than continually plowing through the negative and choking on those cores. 

My daughter is a good example of becoming what you think.  Each person she has come into contact with, who had a behavior trait that she didn't like, she has assimilated into her own.  Two examples are her dad and a counselor she had at a treatment place, once.  Her dad's behaviors can be so negative, selfish, thoughtless.  She is not like that.  As her own person, she is kind, and helpful.  But she has been so hurt by him, angry and resentful, it's like she has focused on what she resents about him so much, that she now acts like that at times.  The same with that goofy counselor, who made the statement that, ' not everyone will recover from addiction.'  Well, my daughter (I think she was scared by that thought) couldn't let that fear go, and now is afraid she is one of those.  Regardless of the amount of reassurance I give her, or examples of dire cases that do change, she hangs onto those fears.  The fears of becoming what she hates the most cause her to become that which she hates the most. 

I believe with all of my heart that who you are as a child is who you are as an adult.  Some of you may be hidden, some of you may have been distorted, but the essence of who you are is always there waiting to be cleaned off, fluffed up and shine as the person you were intended to be.  The person you truly are, until life got a hold of you and you weren't prepared so, instead of facing it with full armor, you threw some rocks and didn't have adequate protection when the boulders came flying back.  You may be bruised, and have some healing fractures, but who you are is still alive and well, ready to blossom as intended.

So, for my daughter, and anyone else who's been choked by the weeds of negative thought, there is hope.  Not a clean sweep, but a methodical pulling of those weeds and letting that ground rest. Then replanting with better, more healthy thoughts.  Church, good books, good friends, there are as many good choices as bad.  It's all about choosing the right seeds, tending them with passion, and then taking in that good harvest.