Working for Good

I am still calm, and I shouldn't be.  Here, another week of my daughter's life spent in an alcohol bog and I'm still calm.  The only time it changes is when I go into her room, and start to talk to her.  I can feel the anger begin to simmer around the sides,  the more I start talking and thinking, the more the bubbles start rising. They they start popping and within a few minutes, I can feel a raging boil about to splatter.  Yesterday, when that happened, well, before the final splat, I turned my head to the ceiling and yelled, "God, she's in Your hands, I'm leaving before I say something I'm sorry for!"  (I'm glad the windows were closed).  So, I left the room and came down to the kitchen; in my opinion, the most comforting part of the house.  I sat at the table and closed my eyes, and that verse that says, "All things work together for good to them that love God,"  came to my mind.  ALL THINGS.  Wow.  So, this little bit of hell we're maneuvering through is included in that, the only stipulation is that you must be loving God.  Well, I do. So, (out loud, again) I started confirming to God (okay, a little sarcastically at first--I was still cooling down from the boil) "So, this must be working toward a lot of good! This waste of a life, this cracking of a family, this ripping out of my heart...this is all working toward some amazing good! (pause...a little calmer) "Okay, I can't see it all, I can't make out the true future yet, good could come out of this. That's what it says."(calmer still) "I trust you will hold my daughter through all of this and help me confront whatever I have to...it's all Yours."   I sat there in the quiet for a few minutes, and then, I was okay, again. Life went on.  I think I'm going to paint the living room.