Taking Notes

I am teaching fourth, fifth and sixth graders to take notes.  We start by watching a video and I will pause it and ask if anyone heard anything important, and the students will say what they heard and felt was important, and then I help them refine their choices and as a group, we write the first note.  It's interesting to listen to what they perceive as important.  At one point in the video (it was about ancient Africa) there were people walking with donkeys.  When I paused the video, I asked what was important, and one of the students raised her hand and answered.  She then went on to say (she is obsessed with horses and anything related to horses) that she saw the donkey, and explained how a horse and donkey mate to produce a mule.  That thought led into the 'other' name for donkey.  She commented that they say it in the Bible and, "my dad had a late birthday card that showed two people on ***es (she would nod her head, instead of saying the word--thank goodness)  and the card said, 'sorry we didn't get off of our ***es to get you a card."  Afraid that she would say the word asses, I kept telling her thank you, and telling her she could tell me later.  As I did that, another student blurted out, "Ms. R, you don't have to tell her to be quiet. I know what she's talking about.  I'm not stupid. I know what a mule is!"  I laughed out loud and assured him I didn't think he was stupid.  We moved on.

Just when we think we know what is going on, someone says something or clarifies it and a whole new picture arises.  That is how I feel trying to understand addiction.  Just when I think I have a grasp on it, some other issue arises and turns everything into a new meaning and picture. I'm finding that listening helps a lot more than lecturing.  My daughter decided to drink, again.  Almost three weeks, and for reasons I don't understand, (though I suspect it has something to do with a guilt she's feeling or a memory she can't let go of) she made this decision.  We were going to go together on a retreat this weekend that our church is holding.  I was so hopeful when she agreed and even filled out the registration form.  But, it's not to be, I guess.  I'm still going. That is the other thing that has changed.  I'm not feeling rage (though I did cry) and I'm not angry at God (though I am still confused and hurt).  I have a history of yelling and pouting with God when this happens but not now.  I sat beside her and leaned over her, put my arms around her, and prayed over her.  Then, I cried, again. 

So, I'm back to my own mental video, trying to rewind and take notes on what I may have missed, new signs, editing to see if there was any new change inching toward sobriety. My mind works like that, trying to see the reasons for experiences or watching for patterns.   I'm trying to see it for what it is (or was), and not assuming something that isn't (wasn't) there.