A Poem

I am cleaning today.  It's raining outside and chilly.  Sometimes this weather feels like a good book, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup or a good, long afternoon nap.  Today it felt like a good day to throw out some old and organize what's left.

I was going through some books and magazines in a wicker box I have.  Tucked inside was a poem.  My daughter used to write poetry.  She was very good.  I liked the way she would weave her words.  I found a poem written in her handwriting.  I don't know if she wrote it or if she read it somewhere and liked it enough to write it down.  It was on a piece of paper with a list of what she had to eat in one day, so I'm assuming this was during the time she was working on overcoming her eating disorder. 

The poem sounds both hopeful and sad to me.  Here it is:

I'm tired of keeping secrets
I'm tired of all the lies
My addictions aren't subsiding
I'm not ready for good-byes.
My pride will be my downfall
I can't take care of myself
My silent screams go unheard
To my deteriorating health.
I pray to God for strength.
I pray everyday for my soul.
I pray to be forgiven and cured
I pray to be unbroken and whole
So let's sing a song of sadness
Another story of the blues
I'm my own judge and jury
My fate is mine to choose.