Courage

Sometimes, early Sunday morning, before I decide to go to church or sit in the backyard, or take a walk, I turn on the TV to the PBS channel.  Sometimes, on Sunday mornings they will have an author giving a lecture. The topics vary.  Yesterday, it was Dr. Wayne Dyer.  I have read some of his books in the past, and I always enjoy listening to him.  I turned it on midway and he was talking to a woman who wrote a book on her near death experience.  I don't remember the book title. I don't remember the woman's name. I do remember what she said and it made powerful sense to me.  She had been diagnosed with cancer. Her organs were shutting down and she was in a coma. She told of how she could hear the people around her. She told of how her father had meet her on the other side.  She told of the unconditional love she felt. She was able to 'know' thoughts and feelings.  She didn't want to leave but was told that, 'it wasn't her time, yet.'  (Knowing her situations; cancer throughout her body, systems shutting down and in a coma, if not that time, then when?  That was kind of inspiring in itself--it 's never too late to NOT give up)  She said that she decided to return. She did. Woke up and eventually, the cancer left. She went back for several tests and no tumors could be found. 

When I hear about stories like that I have always felt that, if they were spared death, then they are meant to be someone substantial:  famous, a healer, something bigger than they were.  That was not her message.  Her message was more astounding to me.  Her message was to come back and have the courage to be herself.   Don't live for someone else. Don't worry about what other's think.  Don't be something or someone others want you to be. Be true to who you are.  Be yourself. 

That did not sound grand enough to survive terminal cancer and be allowed a second chance.  But as I listened to her talk more, it became more and more clear that her message had a core that was very powerful yet simply stated.  I thought about myself.  I do go (and have most of my life) through life concerned about what people might think.  Not taking chances when I should have.  Worried about feeling 'stupid' in front of someone. Where if I had been more confident in who I was, perhaps my choices and accomplishments would have been different.  What if someone was positioned in my life to learn something, but my hesitation to be who I am in favor of  worrying about what someone might say, prevented me from participating in that chain reaction kind of event.  I say/do something, someone sees it, then they say/do something someone else sees it, and lives are affected positively.  (Let me explain it more specifically like this.  We are all a part of God's plan. Each of us has our unique and specific talents and personalities.  Just like in a car, the brakes are used to stop the car, the gauges explain the workings behind the dashboard, etc. Well, if you are afraid to be who you are or if you are trying to be like someone else, then your specific purpose is muddled.  If the brakes don't work on the car, there's a problem. The same applies if you're not working properly. If you spend your time dressing for someone else or trying to be someone else, the impact that was intended for you to make isn't made, at least not to the fullest, because you have held back or felt yourself not worthy. Sadly, our society enforces the idea of being like someone other than yourself.)  I'm more comfortable with who I am now, but growing up because of a lot of reasons, I was very shy and held back, a lot. 

What a wonderful message to learn, especially when you're young.  But any age is good to improve and retrain your thinking toward a more positive outcome. 

My daughter was watching it with me and we talked about it. A lot of the lecture (there was more after her story) was very good. My daughter was open to it. (She participated in an answered prayer that I'll write about later).  I'm glad she was there to hear it. 

So, yesterday I vowed to have the courage to be me, really me.  When that inner voice encourages me to talk to someone, or do something, I am going to follow that without hesitation.  Well, maybe some hesitation but definitely with follow through-change can be scary, you know.  What a wonderful challenge: to really be the person God intended.