A Trip

My daughter and I took a trip last week to Indiana.  My very best friend lives there with her family. I've literally known her all of my life. We grew up together five houses apart.  When she was five, her family moved to New York.  At five, we wrote each other letters (hey are the craziest things to read now!).  Her family moved back to Pennsylvania six months later about 1/2 an hour away from my parent's home. We kept in touch, calling and writing.  When we were old enough, we spent summers and vacations at each other's houses.  Being with her is like being with my family.  I have no sisters, so she has taken that place for me. I'm seven inches taller than she is.  My hair is blonde; her's is brown. She has green eyes and mine are blue; yet when we're out, we've been mistaken for sisters.  Despite all of the coloring differences, we do look alike.  Go figure.   Once, when we were eating lunch out, the waitress came over to us and asked us if we were sisters.  We smiled and said, 'No.'  She paused and then asked, "Well are you twins?"   We smiled and shook our heads.  (True story).  

So, anyway, it's about an 8 hour drive.  We took Dexter, our Min Pin with us, because I still don't trust him with other people.  He's gentle and sweet, but fast.  He's bolted out of the front door now, three times.  Fortunately, he pees on everything and that slows him up enough to catch up with him and grab him.  He was great in the car and when we stopped for a break.  The whole trip was wonderful.  Somehow, time doesn't react with my friend the way it does with everyone else on the planet.  It goes slower when she's around but amazingly, everything that is planned, gets accomplished--and you don't feel rushed!   Last Tuesday, after a leisurely breakfast and coffee,  in one day, we drove to this place called Shipschwanna (I'm not sure that's spelled correctly) which is a huge flea market.  Then, another hour drive to Notre Dame.  After walking the campus and taking some pictures, we drove to lake Michigan to end the day at the beach.  We arrived home around 11:00.  Tired but satisfied. 

The rest of the week was the same.  It is always hard when it's time to leave. 

Being there was so good.  It was good to get away.  It was good to participate in someone else's routine.  It was healthy to hear other conversations.  It's different when you just meet up with someone for the day and then go back to your own home.  Staying in someone else's home, other conversations and comments happen that force you to leave the mental rut you're in and breath in some fresh experiences.  It reminded me of how dangerous isolation is.  My daughter, when she's out, is talkative and funny.  Though she feels she is shy, when she's interacting with other people, you'd never know it.  How she  perceives herself is completely different from how other's see her.  It's frustrating to me that she chooses not to believe what they say to her.  Her comments to me if someone compliments her range from, "They're your friends, they have to say that."  Or, "They're just being nice."  Or some other contray, negative response.  Truthfully, I get tired of hearing her put her self down.  My response is usually, to quickly refute the 'they have to say that' and then tell her that she can choose to accept the compliment or not, and move on.  I just can't figure out why she's thought herself into such a miserable, bleak hole when she has so much going for her. 

Having said that, it didn't hinder the feeling of the trip.  I'd hoped it would help refresh her.  Whether it did or not, I was refreshed--and I really needed to be.