Stuff

A lot has been happening since I last wrote.  My daughter finished her job, but she hated it. We had two months of sobriety and it was heavenly.  I truly did almost forget what all of the madness was like. Life felt so normal and healthy.  She did start drinking, again, shortly after I'm not sure why and once she was finished I was too exhausted finding myself treading water in those old emotions, that I really haven't talked too much with her about it.  Honestly, I just didn't want to think about it anymore. I'm so tired of this aspect of life--addiction.  I just want to say, "Get over it already! Move on! Quite whining! Grow some! Grow up! JUST STOP IT!"   But I don't.  I'm not sure why, though.

Another thing that happened was that we went on strike here for two weeks.  My first time walking a picket line.  It was amazing to see how a little power can affect people.  Some of it was a good experience, some of it was not. The whole thing was a learning experience. 

My computer broke and that was frustrating.  The irony of all of that was that when I first was introduced to a computer, back in the day, I wasn't too enthusiastic about it.  Now, I pout when it doesn't work the way it should. 

My dad turned ninety-one and we had a fight.  I hate that but I was trying to give him a small party and he was making it difficult.  Why?  Who knows, but that is how he is.  The good thing about that was that  when I called him on his birthday to wish him happy birthday, he apologized to me. First time ever that I think he apologized to anyone as far as I know.  It was nice but he could have prevented it all by just letting the situation be controlled by someone other then him for once. I guess that might be hard at ninety-one, though.

Last Saturday morning I got a call from my bank.  Someone had made a purchase with my card numbers at an electronics store in Oklahoma.  They wanted to know if I approved it. No, I didn't so they cancelled my card.  After I hung up, I left the house and drove to the bank to try and understand what happened.  Apparently there are people out there who are just constantly running numbers and when your sequence of numbers randomly pops up, they make a small purchase (mine was 5.74) to see if it goes through. If it does, a bigger purchase is next.  Fortunately they caught it before that happened.  My question to them was how would you know to catch it.  The answer is that my spending habits are profiled.  Somewhere in computer land some entity has been tracking what I buy, so that if something like this happens it is red flagged and I'm notified.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On one hand I'm happy that they caught it, on the other hand, being a private person, I'm not happy that some unseen entity is following me when I'm shopping. Which, I don't do haphazardly. This has been a big inconvenience, though.  You can't just run to the grocery store unless you have cash which, good or bad, I've become accustom not to have.  So, I stew inside for a few minutes a day about invisible, selfish people who have effected my life in a negative way trying to make their lives easier.  Grrrrr.

So, that is what has been going on.  My mind feels as though it has not had time to settle down.  We have only been back to school for 11 days and it feels like three months.  I am a person of routines and I feel off kilter right now.  I feel unsettled. I feel as though I have had an overdose of emotions and now, I'm just mentally unable to push my thinking any further.  Though all of this, though, I have been doing some internal adjusting, especially with my thinking and spiritual attitude.  I'm trying to figure out how to write it down.  I think it helps me when I do that.