Facing Your Fears

Yesterday was a second workshop for my friend's book promotion.  It was about facing your fears. Earlier in the week, I had asked my daughter if she would go with me.  She said she would.  Friday night I reminded her.  Her response was,"Yes."  She asked me who would be there, and some other questions.  I knew she was getting nervous.  She is afraid of questions she might get asked.  "How are you?"  and "What are you doing?"  have become like magnifying glass sledgehammers to her.  She is so afraid, still, that she needs to be on the path that everyone else is on, that, it makes her avoid people, I think. Anyway, I wasn't going to argue if she changed her mind, though I was praying that she would still go.  The speaker is interesting and has a good way of presenting ideas. 

The talk was at 10:30.  It was 9:00 and she wasn't up yet, so I went upstairs to wake her.  I tried several times, but she wouldn't wake up.  I tried, again, at 9:40.  She did wake up, but said she had to take a shower, when was I leaving?  I told her that she would have about half an hour to get ready.  I new this might happen.  I do think she wanted to go, but I also think that she was dragging her feet in the beginning, because she was afraid.  We ended up leaving the house around 10:25 and arrived at the library where it was being held at 10:50.  As we were walking up the stairs, she made the comment about the time.  Initially, I did think, "We're too late, may as well turn around."  But that inner voice, I think, was working on my legs, and I just kept walking.  "Are we going to make a big scene going in?"  she whispered to me.  I think it was her last small attempt to turn around.  "No," I whispered back, and pushed open the door.  We walked in, and found seats.  The writer was  in the back where we were, and as my daughter was sitting down, she looked over and waved.  My daughter smiled and waved back. 

As always with me, when I am listening to someone with a good teaching, that I know applies to what the person I'm sitting with is going through, I spend the first few minutes, kind of straining my ears.  I think I do this as a way of 'listening for them.'  I am so eager for them to hear it all, that I try to hear if they are listening!  When I do that, I find that I can't focus on the information that I also need to hear.  I am a fearful person on the inside.  I worry about a lot.  I needed to hear this, too. Of course, I was so fearful that she would decide not to come, I completely forgot a paper and pen on which to write points down.  So, I have to rely on my memory.

Here are some points that she made:


Fear is heavy.  If you are too fearful and carry fear around, you probably feel tired and exhausted. 

Fear takes harbor in your stomach area.  That is way so many people can have intestinal and stomach issues if they are fearful, because it 'resides' there.  Fear can take up space in your body. 

If your body is full of fear, there isn't room for much else.  You have to release the fear.

Be aware of your dreams. The subconscious holds onto everything and dreams can bring a lot out.  A quote she referenced said something to the effect that dreams are God's forgotten language.

The mind can be a big torturer.  Relieve it of it's whip. 

The average person has over 600,000 (it may be one more or one less zero) thoughts that go through your head a day.  If you don't have control over your mind, these thoughts can be overwhelming.

In the bible it reminds us to, "Fear Not," 79 times. 

The four F's of facing your fear:  Feel it,Face it , Figure it out, Forsake it.

The A,B,C's of over coming fearful thoughts/negative thinking:  Aware-be aware of what you are thinking; Block-push the negative thought away- your not going to think about that;Change-move your thinking/thought to something new and better.

She said that facing your fears, understanding them and then letting them go gets rid of them.  Running away from your fears, only gives them more power over you.  Like a beach ball that you hold underwater. It keeps pushing on you.  Once you let it go, it pops out of the water. 

Willpower is the key to overcoming your fears because you have to change the thinking, but it can be done.

She said that she loves the book, the Road Less Traveled, and the first sentence that says,"Life is difficult."  She found relief it that.  That is wasn't just hard for her, but everyone.  But, it can be lived with joy as well as sorrow, the choice is yours. 

There was some discussion and people giving their views and experiences, too.  A lot of the information, I already knew, but like that Driver's Ed. course, there is something about seeing those crashes in the movies they show that brings it home.   There is something about hearing that other people struggle, too, that makes it easier to understand and fight your own. 

At the end of the workshop, the writer came over to us. Hugged us and told us she wanted to go to lunch sometime soon.  She asked my daughter how she was doing.  "Good."  She asked my daughter what she was doing, "Thinking of going back to school."  She hugged her, again, and told her how glad she was to see her.  (Thank you, God, I was thinking, for getting her here).

We talked about the workshop on the ride home and periodically throughout the day.  For dinner, we ordered Chinese.  My daughter's fortune cookie said, "Your moods signal a period of change."  Mine said, "Put some old business behind you today."  She said, "They're both talking about change. We should put things in the past, and move on."  "Thank you, God," I said to myself.